Tell us how you really feel, Richard Paterson. At Scotchwhisky.com, the blender for Dalmore, Jura and Whyte & Mackay shares his disdain for those who are quick on the dram.

“Probably my biggest pet hate is seeing people drinking whisky like a bunch of cowboys in a saloon,” Paterson seethes. “They are completely missing the quality by just swallowing it back and not taking the time to hold the whisky on their tongue and revere what it is they are actually drinking.”

Tongue tied

Paterson’s rule of thumb: give a whiskey as many seconds on the tongue as the number of years on its label. “The trick is to hold the whisky in the middle of the tongue and then let it slip to the sides and underneath before bringing it back up,” he adds. “By now the whisky will have warmed up and settled down and the tongue will be really saturated with the taste of the whisky.” The countdown is on.