Bottle rockets from the Hermit Kingdom Credit: crg339 (Reddit)
Bottle rockets from the Hermit Kingdom
Credit: crg339 (Reddit)

On the launch pad: North Korean whiskey

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Execution by flamethrower, seal penis liquor, the man Jon Stewart once called a nuclear Elvis—North Korea has given the world many things. Now the twitchy dictatorship can add its first whiskey to the list, the BBC reports.

For this glorious news, thank a China-based tourism operator that snagged some of the stuff. Producer Samilpo Distillery freely admits to ripping off Johnnie Walker for the design of its black- and red-labelled bottles, 40% and 42% ABV, respectively.

Let’s produce more world-competitive famous products and goods!*

No word on how the two drams taste, but they come with the kind of hyperbole we’ve grown to know and love from the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. Samilpo says its product is rich in amino acids that will make it kinder to your liver. Yes, and we’ve got some farmland in Chagang province to sell you.

Understandably, the fine people of Reddit have cast doubt on whether it’s even whiskey at all. Either way, chances are Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, who digs Jim Beam and other imported spirits, will give it a miss. If you want your own bottle, be prepared to visit Pyongyang when Samilpo launches later this year. Beats a ballistic missile any day.🥃

*With apologies to the Workers’ Party of Korea

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