Credit: BBC
Credit: BBC

Feel the Burns: 10 young Scotches to sip on the Night

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In case you didn’t know, January 25 is Burns Night, the annual celebration of Scotland’s most famous poet, the late Robert (Rabbie) Burns. Go on, take a drink’twill make a man forget his woe, ’twill heighten all his joy.

Credit: Compass Box
Credit: Compass Box

What to pour with your haggis, neeps and tatties? Forbes.com’s Felipe Schrieberg picks 10 no-age-statement Scotches with legs. Among them: the Hedonism blended grain offering from London-area (we know, we know) Compass Box, which Schrieberg sums up as “Vanilla, coconut, and aromatic gorse bushes with the thickness of a crème brûlée.”

Islay single-malt Smokehead High Voltage takes things up a notch: “Once you get past the strength, there’s a nice mix of intense smoke with a little bit of sweetness, like marzipan and chocolate chip cookies, to calm it down.” Och aye.

Credit: William Lawson
Ah, so that’s what’s under there
Credit: William Lawson

Is anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order

Speaking of hedonism, and burns of a different nature, the Sun reports that a sex club in Blackpool, England, is throwing a Rabbie tribute with whiskey shots, haggis and a good old-fashioned orgy. Participants get bonus points for showing up in a kilt. As another famous Scot—here interpreted by Mike Myers and a piper—said, If you want my body…

Credit: ArKay Beverages
Credit: ArKay Beverages

If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap!

We don’t do dry January, but if you’re almost through yours, more power to you. For those who can’t quit the taste of booze but want to skip the alcohol, ArKay Beverages is riding the wave with a line of faux hard liquor. 

The Texas company’s “alcohol-free whisky,” given a firm thumbs-down here, has raised the hackles of the Scotch Whisky Association, Sean Murphy explains in the Scotsman. The SWA’s vows to protect the nation’s honor probably won’t thrill the founder of ArKay, who says he spent five years and $5 million* creating a buzz-free drink that smells and tastes like the water of life, with help from Swiss scientists. Remind us, what was the point again?

*All prices in U.S. dollars

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